You guys might remember a while back I wrote a post about Jenna Jamison and her big screen debut (well, the one that did not involve porn anyway.) I was on the fence as to whether or not I intended to watch the movie…..

……well, I watched it; and I gotta confess, I kinda liked it.

Cause & Effect

In an attempt to increase our dwindling troops in the Middle East, the government decides to “re-animate” corpses to aid the fight against our evil foes. Like all good intentions however, things go horribly wrong at the testing compound and an infected soldier manages to escape unnoticed.

He shows up at a nearby underground strip club with an impressive lineup of hot strippers headed up by none other than porn star Jenna Jamison (what a perfect place for a soon to be zombie to end up in!)

About the time Jenna is about to perform her second dance (yes, you get to see the first one) the soldier guy decides to go full blown zombie and decides that Jenna is his menu’s main course.

Result

Jenna is now a zombie, and apparently it agrees with her. The crowd of sweaty, excited males goes batty for her revamped, reanimated, striptease, and when the cash runs out, resorts to writing checks as gratitude for her performance.

Her boss, played by none other than Robert Englund of Nightmare fame, is ecstatic, and doesn’t even mind cleaning up the bloody mess Jenna left for him after her “dance” left her famished. After all, its a small price to pay for all the untold wealth her zombie-fied gyrations promise to rake in.

Too bad the other strippers have to go and get jealous of Jenna’s increased popularity. Becoming a zombie is starting to have a certain appeal and before you can say “holy ta-ta’s” more than one stripper arranges to be “turned” resulting in a lot of money, and a heck of a lot more blood shed.

Conclusion

What I found interesting about this movie is that it changes up the zombie rules, at least for the strippers. They can talk and carry on conversations; they can discern when and who not to eat (such as their boss or fellow strippers,) they feel emotion such as jealousy, and their zombie status actually serves as a type of aphrodisiac to humans. They are also exceptionally agile and quick! Twists which actually prove kind of interesting…

This movie is also gory. I was very surprised with the amount of blood an innards spilled for such a stereotyped cast. It was also very graphic. Another big surprise.

And yes, this movie is exceptionally corny. Forget cheesy; forget campy. think corny. But I liked it.

Recommendation

I realize I will probably be in the minority when I say that I can see this movie becoming a cult classic. I would not be the least bit surprised to see it having a kind of “Chopper Chicks in Zombie Town” cult following.

Will you like it? I can’t say. But if you like gore, and you like really cheesy movies with gratuitous boob shots, then this movie may be for you. Just don’t blame me if you watch it and don’t like it………

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Release Date: May 2nd, 2008
Genre: Action • Scifi
Director: Jon Favreau
Cast: Robert Downey Jr., Terrence Howard, Jeff Bridges, Gwyneth Paltrow

There was quite the excitement brewing in my household on May 3rd, and it wasn’t because we had won lots of money playing Mega Millions and getting to retire early (damnit!)

No, the excitement in my household was due to the nationwide release of Iron Man. And regardless of my broken ankle, we ventured out the day after theatrical release, fighting the insane masses who were as equally exited as us to see the anxiously anticipated movie on the big screen.

Iron Man, based on Stan Lee’s Marvel comic book hero, stars Robert Downey Jr. as the multimillionaire Tony Stark, genius inventor responsible for creating powerful weapons the military utilize to dominate their enemies during wartime.

Cause & Effect

In the Middle East, after introducing his latest invention in weaponry, the Jericho Missile, Tony Stark’s convoy is bombed by terrorists and his unconscious body is taken hostage.

When Stark awakens, he finds himself in a cave with a strange device hooked up to his chest. It is explained to him by another captive, Yinsen (played by Shaun Toub), that the device is essentially a magnet that is keeping him alive by preventing the shrapnel still in his body from the bomb blast from entering Stark’s heart, and that no surgery could safely extract the shrapnel without risking his life.

About the same time this realization sinks in, Stark has a second nightmare to face when his captors announce that in exchange for his life, he must reconstruct the Jericho Missile for their disposal. This simultaneously angers and terrifies Tony so he devises a plan to fool his captors into thinking he is doing their bidding, yet behind closed doors and mistranslated English, he engineers his escape: a weapon “suit” designed to be more lethal than the Jericho Missile ever could.

Result

After a bloody, eye opening escape from his captors, Tony Starks crude weapon suit is destroyed and his blueprints abandoned in his flight from the Middle East (not good things to leave behind when you consider whose hands they are being abandoned to.)

All of these events cause a type of transformation for playboy Stark and he finds himself horrified at the part he has played in warfare by providing these weapons to the military. Ultimately, against the wishes of his right hand man Obadiah Stane (played by Jeff Bridges,) Stark publicly announces his immediate cessation of Stark Industries weapons division.

With the design of his weapon suit embedded in his brain, Stark is determined to create a bigger, stronger, more effective suit. A suit to be used to right the wrongs Stark Industries enacted.

The world needs a hero and who better than Tony Stark? At least thats how he views it, and he wastes no time in trying out his new suit in the Middle East.

All the events from the time of Starks capture to the perfection of his weapon suit, cause a chain reaction of detrimental events. Can Stark right the wrongs? Can he save the day and win the woman (played surprisingly well by Gwyneth Paltrow), and can he do so in a manner that keeps his part in the “Iron Man” publicity hidden from the media?

Perhaps. If only it wasn’t for the blasted ego in each of us to be idolized…….

Conclusion

I had reservations about Robert Downey playing Iron Man. Though I loved him in The Pick Up Artist and Hearts & Souls, his previous displays of public stupidity brought about great doubt as his ability to deliver such a complex role. As well, I have never been a fan of Gwyneth Paltrow so going in I was pretty much setting myself up not to like this movie, despite the promise of insane action.

Boy was I wrong. This movie starts on a high note, and does not let up even when the credits stop rolling. Both Downey and Paltrow deliver believable, likable characters that you find yourself rooting for.

Recommendation

See it. Run to the theater - don’t walk. And be sure to wait til the end of the credits to catch a pre-qual to the sequel due out in 2010.

Oh - and if you are into movie paraphernalia, I found a great site that makes it easy to pick up any “souvenir” you could possibly want, you can even buy full size Iron Man Helmets. I myself have my eye on one. The only problem is that it isn’t wearable for Halloween. Looks like I’ll be a witch yet again……

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Today is “Bloggers Unite for Human Rights” day over at Blog Catalog. Its their campaign to bring awareness to so many strifes that the world suffers on a daily basis yet go either unacknowledged or ignored. In reading post upon post I am both saddened and hopeful.

Saddened because for such an advanced society we are so primitive in our ignorance AND stupidity. Choosing to turn a blind eye to the evils that plague our lives on a daily basis such as crimes against humanity, child negligence, human trafficking, basic physiological needs, Darfur genocide, homosexuality, and so many more.

And hopeful because so many come together, if even for a day, to remind us all of our own humanity, in hopes that it will trigger some sort of basic instinct to help - even if its on such a basic level.

Volunteer at your local soup kitchen, for Habitat for Humanity. Donate $5 towards a charity, sign a petition. Maybe if each and every one of us were to do just one thing - it would make a difference. Maybe it would be enough to make a difference.

I want to; don’t you?

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• Director: Steven C. Miller

• Writer: Steven C. Miller

• US Release Date: 18 October 2006

• Genre: Action / Horror

• Cast: A bunch of No Names

This movie first appeared at the Screamfest Horror Film Festival held annually in California. This festival is a means for unknown writers and filmmakers to show their work to famous filmmakers such as Rob Zombie, Wes Craven, Sam Raimi, among others.

Apparently they liked what they saw in 2006, and Automation Transfusion hit DVD shelves in March of this year. Being as I am not one to pass up a bloody zombie movie, I had to bite (pun intended.)

Cause and Effect

Cause is not really revealed until about 3-quarters way in (lovely military experiment gone awry. Pity.) however the movie begins with a seemingly dead body at a morgue. Typical intern guy hears sounds and moves towards it to investigate. The usual attack by undead body results in a rather massive amount of blood loss and graphic almost decapitation.

Without warning people are turning up in hospitals and the local highschool bitten and bloody. In what seems like a matter of hours, the entire town is infested with zombies.

Result

A band of teenagers decide to fight back and are forced to kill zombies/friends/family with whatever means necessary. It all seems futile however, as one by one they are bitten and transformed, and their entire town becomes one massive, gory, blood bath.

Conclusion

This movie though sounding great, is somewhat lacking. For starters, there is the amateurish filming, shaky shots, poor positioning, inadequate lighting. The audio is not much better as the voices sound as though there were recorded on a 1970’s cassette deck. Granted the entire movie was filmed in a total of 9 days, which, when coupled with the intense graphic effects, is pretty impressive. But its very obviously B and in this day and age, that is not necessarily a good thing.

Aside from all the above, I actually found myself really getting into the movie. Not really sure how it happened, but it did nonetheless. And right about the time it was really getting good - TO BE CONTINUED…..

WTF???? Did I miss something?
To be continued? As in to be continued next week cliff hanger type maneuver?

What Kaka - what crap - what dung - what shit! No way was this movie good enough to even check to see if a 2nd installment is in the works….. and no way would any filmmaker invest in such drivel. They are lucky as heck the first one got picked up!

Damn. I’m gonna check it out. I wanna know what happens next. ARGH!!

Recommendation

Watch it. Or don’t. I don’t recommend this as a really good movie to watch, but I do recommend it if you have nothing else to do and it happens to be laying around. Decide for yourself. Then come back and let me know what you think.

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Release Date: 25 December 1998 (USA)
Director: Robert Rodriguez
Genre: Horror / Sci-Fi / Thriller
Cast: Josh Hartnett, Jordana Brewster, Salma Hayak, Elijah Wood, & many other well knowns
Best Movie Line: “I’m not putting that hack drug up my nose - it’s so 80’s!”

Introduction

There are certain movies that I can watch repeatedly, recite almost verbatim, and still I do not tire of them. The Faculty is one of those movies. It’s a classic B-film with most all of the required criteria even though it is delivered by what now is an A-list of actors (even R&B star Usher has a character part!)

Cause & Effect

Is something up with the water at Herrington High? It seems the faculty can’t drink enough of it. Not only are they constantly thirsty, but they appear to be acting strange and out of character. Too bad most of the students are too unaware as one by one they are being “converting” as well.

Casey Conner isn’t oblivious to this behavior and upon observing his schools football team at practice, finds in the field what is believed to be a new parasite on the food chain ladder of life (I don’t know about you guys, but to me this has the makings of a very cool alien takeover……..)

Result

A motley crew of kids team together to try and determine what is happening in their school. In looking for the parasite Casey found, they are confronted by their science teacher and ultimately discover he is possessed by some sort of alien life form. Luckily Zeke Tyler (played by Josh Hartnett) likes to dabble in his very own science lab, and has concocted an interesting cocktail that to teenagers produces an euphoric high, but they soon discover that it does not bode so favorably with aliens.

It’s not long before the Scooby-type gang of misfits are fighting for their school and their own humanity as the aliens try to take over their world.

Conclusion

Think The Outsiders meets The Thing - that will give you a pretty good feel for what The Faculty is all about. The acting is every bit as worthy as The Outsiders, and the special effects are every bit as cheesy as The Thing. The translation? A very enjoyable campy ride.

Recommendation

Although this is a B-feel film, the cast is very impressive in its delivery. Elijah Wood and Josh Hartnett offer great performances, as do others. This movie may be cheesy and campy, but it does so with conviction.

This movie is definitely worthy of 3 thumbs up in my book. What do you think? Have you seen it?

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…cuz its raining; has been all morning and shows no signs of stopping. The rain is also messing with my wireless connection. The Bastards.

So anyway, while we were sitting here deciding what to do on this “dreary yet absolutely wonderful because I am on vacation day,” I played with photoshop to create my flower for Doodle Week’s Doodle Flower Day.

I incorporated a picture I took of the intercoastal waterway that runs behind the condo we are staying at. This picture was taken when the tide was low, which is really kind of cool because all the water just disappears. During high tide, the water is probably 25-35 feet deep. Its so weird to witness. All the docks end up stranded on the muddy bottom, but next morning - BOOM! Floating high above.

So anyway as I was snapping absolutely useless pictures like I always do in hopes to catch something on camera that just blows the mind, you will see that I did!! Its making me think I better not go swimming or else I might become the next meal…..

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It’s Doodle Animal time over at Doodle Week. Here’s my contribution.

I’ve never drawn a Zombie. I may have only drawn one or two rabbits in my life. Usually I draw Snoopy (which I am rather good at if I must say so myself) or a cartoon poodle. Never body parts….. this guys ears are too small. But I’m on vacation, so its allowed.

“Wind-Up Zombie Bunny”

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Doodle Week began yesterday. As usual, I am a day late. I tried to come up with a self portrait but they were either too awful or too revealing; not in a naked way, rather in a wear your heart on your sleeve kind of way.

So today, I took one of my favorite doodles from my childhood, Mr. Peanut Head (reminds me sooo much of Jimmy Carter) and turned him into a maniacal slasher dude. Being as all my talent lies in my ability to make my mouth run a mile a minute (just ask my husband), the picture is a little lacking.

You will be able to see from the illustration that it’s best that I leave doodling to those who are good at it, such as ClaireBear (her names not really ClaireBear; it’s Claire. But she is such a sweetie I just feel like calling her ClaireBear. And she can’t stop me! :-)); Laura; and others that I can’t quite think of at the moment.

I’m gonna try doodle animal next. I have a fav of childhood youth in this department as well, it’s going to be just a matter of how bloody I can twist it. I will also have one other challenge.

Vacation started for me today. We are on our way to Myrtle Beach bright and early in the am. don’t even get me started on having a good time as its bike week and me with a broken ankle cannot ride my beloved Sporty, so all I can do is be exceptionally jealous of all the other hussies who are riding theirs along with every other person at Myrtle Beach.

And don’t tell me to enjoy the BEACH because in case you missed it I have a huge bulky cast on my foot and the last thing I need is to twist my ankle in the sand or on a rock in the water….. then of course there is the whole wet cast thing….. eeeeewwwwww.

So anyway, last year we tapped into someone’s wireless internet. If all goes well, I will be able to do so again and maintain participation in the doodling, but if I don’t remember its not from lack of wanting to, its from lack of being able to.

So I hope you can pretend to enjoy Mr. Maniacal Peanut Head. If nothing else, I enjoyed making him.

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As reported by Mati Milstein for National Geographic Magazine in December 2007, it has been discovered that the “parasitic jewel wasp” has targeted the common cockroach as a host for the incubation site of their larva.

Scientists have discovered that the parasitic jewel wasp injects venom directly into the cockroach’s brain, thereby inhibiting its free will by blocking the chemical substance known as “octopamine” in the cockroach’s brain.

Octopamine is a brain substance that places insects in an alert state, inspires them to move, and allows them to perform demanding physical tasks.

As the “zombie” cockroach is unable to fight against this seemingly lethal paralysis, it can be pulled into the wasp’s underground lair where an egg is then laid in its abdomen. The larva hatches approximately a month later and eats the still “living” but incapacitated cockroach from the inside out.

WHOA!! Talk about eeeewwwww!!!!  I guess zombie-ism isn’t just for humans after all!

The study recently appeared in the Journal of Experimental Biology.

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You guys need to forgive me for this short detour. Sometimes the psyche takes over and no matter how hard you try to stay focused, your attempts become futile and at some point you must concede defeat.

Have you ever had something in your life affect you so deeply that whenever you reflect upon it, it’s as though it was happening all over again? And you try to purge yourself of its memory by some grand acknowledgment of the event thinking that validation of it will somehow offer you a much needed release?

But the release is fleeting and somewhere along life’s highway something triggers the memory when you least expect it and you find yourself right back at square one.

That’s how it is for me, anyway and the validation I angled for is the poem I wrote below. I hoped the acknowledgment contained within would offer closure. The closure lasted all of a week.

That was about 10 years ago. The event’s shadows still haunt my peripheral view, gaining substance when I least expect it; propelling me back to that day so long ago. Refusing to fade.

I’m just wondering if any of you out there ever experienced this. It’s been heavy on my mind today for some reason. Do you think I might be crazy?

Yeh, I’m probably crazy.

Torn ~

Wanting to feed the life

Yet choking on its breath.

Numb ~

Emotion recognized yet denounced:

Feigning nonchalance.

Tears of denial fall

Yet are absently dismissed.

And still they burn in their

Path of descent

~ Scarring the soul.

And what consequence will be suffered?

~ Before forgiveness is granted (if at all…)

And will repercussions be faced?

(As penance for my sin…)

Or will the torment of the act

Sufficiently suffice:

Continuously reminded by the

Guilt that cannot rest,

Tucked loudly in the corners of my mind…

(an original poem by yours truly)

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